Bitterness = Choosing Resentment
Wow! That definition really hit me today. I was reading Romans 12:9-21 this morning and the title of that section was "Behave Like A Christian". I started taking the verses apart, underlining words or phrases that outline what I'm supposed to look like. Love without hypocrisy. Abhor evil. Cling to good. Be kind. Give preference to others. Be diligent and fervent. Serve the Lord. Hope. Be patient. Pray. Meet the needs of the Saints. Be hospitable. Bless those who persecute me. And that's where it hit me, I'm holding on to bitterness towards people who have "persecuted" me. Not so much persecuted, but hurt or offended me.
Why do I hold onto hurts and offenses? I say the Christianese thing by saying "Yes, I've forgiven them" but have I really? If I have really forgiven them, then why do I think about it still? Why, when I think of them, do I start feeling angry and disgusted? Because I'm "Choosing Resentment"! Either I choose to forgive or I choose to dwell upon the wrong doing until I become bitter. When I become bitter, I become enslaved to the person who hurt me. I can't think of anything less pleasant than being enslaved to this person. But I'm choosing to be enslaved! What am I doing? Stupid head!
As I talked this over with Jesus today, He reminded me that I have made a choice to be His bondservant. I have chosen to bond myself to him, as a servant, for the rest of my life. I choose a worthy Master. But "No one can serve two masters"! So which one is my master? Jesus or Bitterness? They both can't exist together! Talk about a huge revelation. (I know it seems so simple, like such a no-brainer.) By choosing to be a bondservant of Christ, I cannot enslave myself to another. I must forgive and choose to be "better". My amazing friend Mical Masterson used to say "Don't be bitter. Be better".
I don't want to think about this particular person who hurt and offended me, much less be enslaved to them. Their words are like "arrows that fly by day" and "destruction that lays waste at noonday", like a "plague in my dwelling place". Sounds like a nice place to live huh? Well, I'm choosing today to "be better"! I will be a good servant to my Master by serving Him only. No more bitterness towards them. I even have a hard time thinking about them without getting bitter - so no more thinking about them. No more letting their words pierce my heart, no more letting their opinions shape my day-to-day, no more thoughts of "what the heck is wrong with you", no more bitterness! NO MORE! 2 Timothy 2:15,16 says "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and idle babbling, for they will increase to more ungodliness." I don't want anything to lead me to ungodliness. I want to be a worker who God is proud of!
Jesus help me moment by moment, day by day.
Wow, Sweetie, this is really heavy. First, I don't ever want someone hurting your feelings,but life happens. You have given me, so much to think about or ponder as your youngest son has said. You are such a special, loving child of God.
ReplyDeleteLove you, Other